Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Today

Today was fantastic! I will list the things I did.
  • Went to the bank
  • Went to the post office
  • The store
  • Rode on the rhino with Cindy and the girls and Norm to the creek. We had a great time.
  • Came back and went to see Janna and Tanner. Adam happened to come by. :)
  • Came home and changed and went to Rejeanas for supper
  • going to church with the girls to choir practice.
  • Then home to bed maybe.
Yes I had a great day!
This blog is soooooo generic.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Today is a yellow day. I'm sunny and happy. My mom says there is no sicknees like homesickness, but I am here to tell you there is no place like home. The feeling is indescribable. Seeing my kids and grandkids felt like coming back to life. I am alive again. The land of the living is where I can feel better again. Some day I will be here again. January can't come soon enough.
I will not worry about leaving in two weeks, it will be in the back of my mind, but for now I will plan and do what I have wanted to do. It will be a "fresh" new day and a new outlook for when we do go back knowing I will be home again in 3 months. I can do this! By Gods grace, I can.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

My life is boring

I'm boring. Yes I am boring. I'm bored, it is boring here, I sick of being bored. Monday night, I won't be bored. I'll be blessed again. Happy, conscience, I'll have conversations with someone other than myself, the walls will have air and will breath again, there will be laughter instead of tears, joy instead of sorrow, comfort and not pain. I'll actually see people smiling. I hate it here. See you on Monday night.

Friday, March 26, 2010

I have nothing to write home about. I'm boring these days.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Today is a blah day. It is cold and snowy out on this March 25th day. Dad goes on midnights and we are ready to go home. Yesterday, the soup kitchen was busy. We fed 126 homeless stoned and drunk people. A woman and her mother fought over something and about tore the place up. At this point, I'm glad I am at the soup kitchen. It has taught me a lot of things about cooking and life. This is the only thing I will miss about Fort McMurray.
I am going to finish Maddie's dress today. I need to construct it and embellish it with something so it doesn't look so drab. That is another thing I am learning while I am here. I am learning to do more creative things with my garments that I make. I will post a photo later.
It is 4 days til we go home. I miss you David, Rejeana, Ty, Jacob, Tori, Joe, Cindy, Carlee, Maddie, ADam, Janna, Tanner and my only son, Norman. See you soon!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I never thought I would ever say when I GO home for VACATION. But that is what we did. My goal was to go to Norman's graduation and that went by so fast it was like I blinked and it was done. Coming back to Fort McMurray wasn't as bad as I had expected. Hopefully, the next few months will go by fast and I will get to go home again. After coming back, I have come to realize that I have the empty nest syndrome. I have looked forward to having that problem for so long that now it is here, I don't like it. But I have to go forward and build a new chapter with Norm. This is another learning process. One that I am afraid will require patience. I will get there, but it will take a little time. My kids are doing okay on their own, I never thought they wouldn't. I just always thought I would be there. The rest of this year will bring new chalenges here in Fort McMurray. I am ready for it. As long as Norm is here with me, we will be okay. Until then, I will move on and face each day as it comes.
I miss you David, Rejeana, Tyler, Tori, Jacob, Joe, Cindy, Carlee, Maddie, Adam, Janna, Tanner and Norman. I love you and will see you soon if the Lord tarries
Another year, another prom. This one is the last prom for my family. There is a sadness for me because I missed my last childs last prom. I really wanted to enjoy the whole senior year process with him since he will be graduating and he is my last child to do so. And guess what, he did it okay without me. Why do I put myself through all this? Because I know that my family raising years are almost over. People would say I should be feeling like this, or like this, , or like this, . And I thought I would be those things, but instead I feel like this-. Depressed, wondering what is next, exhausted, and mad that I couldn't be there.
I will be at Norman's graduation. I want to be there so bad that I wouldn't schedule a drs appointment for my ear on the day we leave for our flight. I want to go home for my son's graduation and NOTHING is going to keep me from it. Unless the plane crashes!
That is a very important time for us all. I feel that my job as raising children is officially finished. Would I do it all over again? You bet. In a heartbeat. I was thinking the other day about Rejeana and Cindy when they were small. Oh how I want that to be again. I would do things with them alot different. But wouldn't we all? The Bible remind me to "press TOWARDS the mark" not around the mark, not beside the mark, and not BEHIND the mark. So, that is my goal. I have to look forward. Forward to what God has in store for Norm and me. He will be my mate of 35 years and this is what we have dreamed of. I will be ready for the next mark in my life. I'm sure there will still be challenges and demands on our lives and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have grandchildren to come along side of them and mentor them into adulthood with their parents. I will look forward to spending alot of time with them.
So for now, I will prepare to pack for the trip home, my son's graduation, seeing my family and for our future retirement. We have alot to do on the farm and it will be good.
Rejeana, David, Tyler, Jake, Tori, Cindy, Joe, Carlee Maddie, Janna, Adam, Tanner and Norman. I love you with every beat of my heart and will see you in 2 weeks, if God tarries.
xxx000
Tomorrow is Easter Day. We celebrate Easter in the spring and is a reminder of everything new and a renewing of our souls after a long winter's nap. It also brings celebration of a new beginning of a harsh winter. To me Easter, this year, will bring a new beginning to the summer, but also a reminder of an absence from my family on this first holiday. A first of several holidays that we will miss together.
But Easter will still go on. We celebrate Easter not because of the fresh spring that will come but because of Christ who rose from the dead to give us victory over death. On Easter day many people all over the world will get on their new Sunday clothes and go to church for their yearly church service, but not really celebrate what the true meaning of Easter is.
The risen Savior is every Christians hope for eternal life with Him in heaven. Christ certainly did not die on the cross because of anything He has done. He GAVE up His life because He knew mankind needed a way of salvation. A salvation from the grips of Hell and eternal damnation. He gave it up for you and me. He didn't have to. Do you know anyone who would do that for you? We think maybe soldiers fighting for our country, our spouse, our parents. What do you think of them doing that for you? Are you honored that one of them would sacrifice their lives for you? I know I am. But much more the sacrifice that Christ did for me on the cross. You see, the soldiers fighting for our country, our spouse or or one of our parents will die for us, but they can't bear our sins at death, they can't come back to life and they can't save us from hell. They also can't provide a relationship that only Christ can give.
Easter reminds me of the relationship I have with Christ. I accepted Him as my Savior at the age of 10 or 11. Without Him, I have no purpose. I am what I am because Christ died a victorious death, but rose from the grave go give me new life and is now awaiting my entrance to heaven with my new body, home, and rewards.
Celebrate Easter with a renewal of you mind but also celebrate knowing that Christ did all this for us.
Happy Easter everyone!
Happy St Patricks Day,
Where do I begin, We arrived in Fort Mac on Jan. 12. It has been a whirlwind experience thus far, but the greatest emotion is the homesickness that set in when Norm went back to work on the 19th. I have never felt that feeling so badly as I have this time. I cried from that day, every day, stayed on the couch for hours at a time, never left this room, feeling lonely, desolate, almost suicidal...until yesterday. I received a package from Rejeana, my daughter, that made my world come back to me. You would've thought that being a Christian I would turn to my Bible, my Lord. He never left me, I just went into deep dark despair and built this wall around me that Satan just loved because it blocked my view of everything-including God. In the package I found two cd's that Rejeana recorded for us with family events. One was Norman's band concert, WIBI's opening act which had a church member trying out for it and then the all time favorite-family dinner. I popped that into my laptop and you know how the video of AH Ha sucked the girl in to see the guy? That is how I was. I got sucked in emotionally back home within my laptop and stayed there for two hours! I felt home, free, elated, happy and just seeing them and hearing their voices made me feel there is a great blessing at the end of this long, long tunnel. Praise God! I actually felt like I was there with my family. I felt life and encouragement. When the cd was over, I was back in this lonely apartment. But it was different. Now when the days get really long and I long for home and my family, I can pop in this CD and I am there if only for the moment. I can't thank Rejeana enough for the gift she sent. It was truly a blessing and LIFE giving for me. Unfortuneatly, I can't say that for Norm. It made him even more ready to go home. In time, he, too will be where I am. Ready for a new day. A newer chance to try this again. I have two years to be here and I have to make the best of it. But for now...I love you Rejeana, David, Ty, Jake, Tori, Cindy, Joe, Carlee, Maddie, Janna, Adam, Tanner, and Norman. As well as the rest of all our families. I love you with every beat of my heart! I miss you. Until we see each other again.....

new

I'm new at this and will just practice for today.